It’s late at night, it’s very cold out. I’m stalled out on packing for the trip which begins at 6:25 tomorrow morning. I have no idea why.. why I chose a flight that leaves at 6:25am… why I decided to go this week, why, sitting at my desk, studying the schedules and travel options and examining my finances, I chose this week of all the weeks in the hockey season. No idea what I was thinking last September, but here it is.
I hate leaving. Every time, I hate it. I don’t want to leave the dogs or the cat or the ranch, I fret that I have forgotten some important appointment or to do something I said I would do.
So here I sit, stalled and writing and watching Julie/Julia because a professional coach told me to. Yes, I’m talking to a coach because he offered to do it for free and I can’t turn down free stuff. It’s part of a credentialing process for said coach. He’s already messed up once by pointing out that I’m kind of crazy. No shit. Why else would I need “coaching”?
That all feels very Californian.
But, as the reviewers and everyone I know who saw it has said, Julie/Julia is a good movie. It covers all that stuff many bloggers must go through, whether or not they achieve any measure of success. I don’t get the food thing, but regardless of the subject matter I guess blogging is blogging.
My clothes dryer is on the fritz, it stays cold on high and gets hot on low. My return key is also sticking on this laptop. I don’t blame it, it’s really old, as is the dryer. Things stick and get confused when you get old. I would attribute my inability to pack to being old but I’m not that old, and I have always been this way about packing, whether or not I actually wanted to go on the trip or not.
Even if the being stuck isn’t a factor of age, it is clearly a pattern. That’s why I need to leave on a regular basis, to get unstuck. I need to yank myself out of whatever pattern I have fallen into, go stand outside life as I know it and clear my head.
The Sharks played the Blackhawks tonight, and I only got to watch the first period because I had to go out to dinner and not be watching hockey. I had a bad feeling about the game, but maybe that was just a bad feeling because I would not be able to watch. I can appreciate a good comeback, even when they don’t make it all the way back. The thing is, when I know they won’t make it, it’s less fun to watch.
I remember being able to watch games like movies, not knowing how they would end. Not having Twitter or Facebook or GameCenter blaring the results out to me beforehand. I remember being able to hide from the spoilers but I can’t do that so easily anymore.
Beyond that, I have become a live addict. It just isn’t the same if it isn’t happening live. How in the world did I watch those late night replays with any enthusiasm?
Also, I am not crazy about games against the Blackhawks. They bring back bad memories. Yes, seeing Nemo make some great saves was a lot of fun, but seeing the Sharks lose is just not fun. At least Desi didn’t play. At least he’s being treated after that head injury. God I hope he’s going to recover soon and fully. I have to shove a bunch of reasons out of my head, reasons to worry he won’t be okay aside from his head has been injured.
Things like he came up through the ECHL and not the college rout, so this might not be the first time. Then again, he didn’t sound like someone who had been through it before in his brief statement. Then again, I would bet not all concussions feel the same, even for the same person. And all of that needs to be pushed aside. Get well, Desi.
Why the hell can’t I get packed? Flyers fans and their team, Nabby and Seto and Heatley await in Philadelphia and then the Red Wings fans in Detroit. Why can’t I get packed?
Wait a minute, Julie never meets Julia? It ends with Julia saying she hates Julie’s blog? Wow. That’s lame. I must have missed something.