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Rapture in the Ice Age

I thought I heard once that sharks are among the survivors of the last ice age.  I know musk oxen are on that list.  There aren’t a lot of us still around.

The last ice age lasted a really long time.  If you were a hockey fan at the beginning of the ice age, and had to wait for it to end before your team won a Stanley Cup, the jerseys, signs, hopes and dreams would have to be passed down like heirlooms through several generations.

So what’s 20 (or 40) years?  It could be worse.  And even through an ice age, the Sharks would persist, in roughly the same form. That’s more than can be said for most critters.  Okay, so maybe that’s little comfort to this year’s Sharks fans.

That isn’t true either.  They have evolved, they have changed, and they have stayed pretty close to the top of the food chain for quite a while.  Also, they won’t be swept this year.  They saw to that in the last game.  That’s progress from last year.  If they add one win to each appearance in the Western Conference Final each year, they will get to the Finals in three more years.  Unless they get two this year.  One can hope.

It isn’t impossible that the Sharks could win the next game.  Nothing is impossible.  Life As We Know It survived May 21, 2011 with nary a guitar-eating man from Mars in sight.  So anything is possible.

Which reminds me.  It is peculiar that the concept of rapture has been so completely taken over by masochists.  The idea of being chosen can’t be entirely pleasant, not if you live in the world and know even one heathen who seems like a nice person despite the heathen thing.  At the very least, if you do get righteously vanished, you won’t get to feel like you’re better than the rest of us anymore. You will be merely average.

On the other hand, if you hold your ground, stick by Life As We Know It, you might say “Damn, (since you’re unrighteous, you use bad words cuz that’s how we talk here in Hell) McGinn is playing really very well this year.  And Desjardins is no slouch either.  And check out how some of the guys can do something right even in the middle of an apocalypse: wasn’t that a pretty goal from Couture and Clowe?”  You might feel a little happy if you just know how to look at things.  No need to abandon the planet, the ship, or even your team.

I was impressed that neither Desjardins nor McGinn took a single penalty in this game.  Of course, the Sharks spent a lot of time on the power play and the penalty kill so there wasn’t as much call for the fourth line.  Nonetheless, they got one of the team’s two goals.  That is an efficient use of your energy and time.  Just discovering the bright side of a dismal loss can create a little joy.  I might not call it rapture, but it’s not Hell either.

For the amoral majority, Deborah Harry got it right with her take on it.  It is possible to find pleasure even in a magnificent collapse of the familiar. You just need to change up the tune, break some rules and revel in it.  Win or lose, stick with your team.  Even in the agony you can find a twisted kind of ecstasy.

If you ignore the fact that the people cheering wildly during the post-game show in San Jose were really just excited about having their party on tv, you could pretend that this is what the Rapture might look like: everything’s going to hell but we’re gonna party like it’s 1999 (or 1980) again.

Like the lady says: get up!  Hear that, Sharks?  GET UP!

Original single release of Rapture can be found here.

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